Listen up, Buttercup. When you purchase an f/1.8 prime lens, you can’t just film your silly little “unboxing” video for YouTube and then throw it in your camera bag until, I dunno, you come across the perfect landscape in the distance, only to close the aperture down to a pinpoint with some ridiculously high f-stop!
NO! If you buy a blurryback prime, you — and you alone — have a responsibility to photograph cute animals with blurry backs and post them on the Internet! Period.
Prime vs. Zoom
You’ll hear a lot of “science” as to why a 35mm or 50mm prime lens will take a better portrait than a zoom. Theories like:
“Less glass means sharper image quality!”
“Wider aperture means a shallow DOF!”
“It’s a faster lens for better clarity and handling low-light!”
“Focal length closely resembles the human eye, minimizing perspective distortion at wide angles!”
Blah, blah, blah, whatever. It’s not frickin’ rocket science. The fact is, a prime lens takes a wicked cat photo because, unlike their telephoto counterparts, they have built-in “CMS control mechanisms” to directly interact with the camera’s CMOS sensor array. These mechanisms are based on old sensor tech, but with a patented magnification algorithm that essentially targets and amplifies any “C-level” pixels that hit the sensor.
CMS (Cuteness Magnification Sensor) technology has been around for a while, but only until ‘lolcats’ re-invented the Internet back in 2006 did it truly hit its stride.
I love you both equally
…sooo…I picked up the Nikkor 35mm prime the other day. I’m not cheating on you, my beloved 50mm! I just needed a closer-quarters “pet lens” for indoor use. I love you both equally.
Anyway, because I am a responsible f/1.8 lens owner, I took a “couple” animal blurrybacks with my new 35mm, as well as my beloved 50mm.